The Black Saint is the best pop culture commentator evah. Kid.#

Whenever you see a legal situation depicted on TV, it's obvious that the writer's sole research involved watching an episode of Ally McBeal while drinking cheap scotch. I'm willing to let many things pass as I seek to fill the emptiness of my life with bad TV, but when the show's whole plot, as in last night's Smallville, depends on the sort of goofiness that would make Sam Waterston cringe, it's almost impossible to ignore.

Tony Pierce writes about Ben and J. Lo.#

and as we were breaking for a late lunch my buddy back at the home base patched me into my favorite channel E! who was doing a live breaking news thing telling the world that Ben and Jen have officially called it quits.

excuse me, fuck ben and jen

hes no actor hes a pretty boy east coast welch wanna-be masshole sally who is only getting some of the sweetest ass in film because of his girlfriend matt damon.

and she got dirty with puffy and eminem and that dancer dude and now this guy?

The Binary Circumstance links Ben and Jenny to the Iraq Civil War that's brewing.#

File this under things that were not meant to be.

The media love to play on the romantic and the heroic. Movie stars and wars of liberation are advertised and sold, like ideals, something that we all should be striving toward.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, sometimes referred to jointly as Bennifer have broken off their engagement.

[...]

Maybe there is an important political lesson to be learned from Ben and J-Lo. Trying to join together two incompatible parties might not be worth the bloodshed. Give the Shiites and the Kurds each their own sovereign country with a split of the oil revenues. Give another portion of the country and some of the oil revenues to the secular rationals who want to live in peace. Sit back and see which of the three new countries thrives.

The Black Saint brings us the O.C. Moment of the Week. (I love these.)#

This brings us to The O.C. Moment of the Week, better known as the only moment during this show that I felt good about watching it: At the Cohen house, Danny and Seth are playing video games. Sandy walks in on them. Seth introduces Danny as a friend, Sandy says, "Hello, I'm Sandy." To which, poor Danny delivers the line, "So take a shower." Sandy and Seth both look puzzled. Get it? Take a shower because he's sandy. Sandy pulls Seth away and confides that Danny is not funny, that Danny is so unfunny that he makes Ryan look funny. Now that's funny.

John at the Movie Blog on giving a good performance versus being a good actor.#

Here's something else to keep in mind about Pacino and Deniro. They are both essentially the SAME FRIGGING GUY in almost every film they're in. They're like Kevin Costner that way. Pacino always talks the same, moves the same… he's the same frigging character with a different name in almost all his credits. Same with Deniro. Its all they can do! Granted, they both do it VERY well… but it's still all they can do.

Contrast that with someone like Robin Williams. Williams can play almost ANY role with a shocking diversity you rarely see on screen. An unassuming killer in Insomnia, a disturbed and misunderstood loner in 1 Hour Photo, A psychotic maniacal kids show host in Death to Smotchy, the professor in Dead Poets Society (Which he SHOULD have won an Oscar for), the psychologist in Good Will Hunting (which he DID win an Oscar for)… and on and on and on. Williams has never been in a film as good as The Godfather and he's never given a single performance as good as Pacino in Scarface or Deniro in Heat, but he is vastly more talented an actor when it comes to playing diverse rolls and different kinds of films. Deniro and Pacino have both shown they can't.

Camilo says that if you liked the trailer to Along Came Polly, you should probably just stick to it and not see the film.#

Last weekend went to Along came Polly, a disturbing exercise in sameness and substitution of clichés for the happy consumption of middle America, the same one that considers it ok to have some "Friends" in NY with absolutely no Black, Latino or other "ethnic" characters. This movie is rife with platitudes, underdeveloped characters, weak plot and a completely base and stupid premise.

They first present you with the ethic dilemma, should a husband repudiate the woman that is unfaithful to him in his first day of honeymoon? Mind you, there is no easy answer to this, we learn, and Debra Messing's character jumps, suddenly, from merely confused redhead wife to redhead bitch. Uh?

Steven Frank relates the demise of Disney to another industry.#

It feels like Disney is going through a bit of what the video game industry went through after the release of Wolfenstein 3D back in the day: a mad rush towards 3D because it's the hot new thing, one indistinguishable first-person shooter after another. There is still much to be done in 2D, and somewhere, cunning artists (and game developers!) are quietly honing their 2D skills for their triumphant return when the pendulum swings back again.

The Movie Blog links to Geek Roar about Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.#

I just got my first glimpse at the upcoming movie Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow (2004) from the trailer and am rather taken by the distinctive look of the piece. The movie is set in 1939 with Sky Captain (played by Jude Law) saving America from giant robots created by a mad scientist bent on world domination. The film also stars Gwyneth Paltrow as the intrepid reporter, Angelina Jolie as Captain Franky Cook and Ling Bai as The Mysterious Woman. Sky Captain is the movie that made some waves around FX circles when it was announced as the first project that would exercise first time writer / director Kerry Conrans unique CGI program that allows the movie be shot almost entirely against blue screen with sets added in post production.

Dowingba on why he is not attracted to celebrities.#

I wanted to go a little bit more in depth on this subject. Something that "real" women possess that most celebrity sex babes don't: Flaws. That's right. Flaws. Britney Spears, for example, has no flaw. She is a perfectly sculpted woman. That turns me off. Give me something to work with here.

Also, another thing turns me off about celebrity sex babes: Too much skin too much of the time. Has Britney Spears ever covered up her midriff? Not as far as I can tell. Where's the mystery? It gets to the point where she's just flaunting it. "Ha, look! I have a midriff! Look at it! A midriff!!" We get it. Now put some clothes on, for once.

Will Baude links to Timothy Burke's review of the Return of the King, with particular focus on changes from the book.#

The battle showboating by Legolas is really unwelcome in this film, visually exciting as it was. I'd gladly lose Legolas single-handedly winning the war if that meant we got more attention to Eowyn, and more care in staging the simultaneity of the turning points in the battle for Minas Tirith, and other things left out of the theatrical cut. I don't care how many girls sigh at Orlando Bloom: he had his moment in the sun in The Two Towers. Enough already with the super-elf. By the end of ROTK, he's a toxic combination of Rambo, Tonto, the Dalai Lama and a Jedi Knight. Begging for the Rohirrim's aid is besides the point: all Aragorn really needs is five more wood elves and he could sweep the field of every troll and mumakil around.

Brittney writes about the Real World.#

But I stuck it out with the Real World. I would watch marathon after marathon of that shit and came to know some of the "dialogue" by heart. When Steven slapped Irene in Seattle I was all like, "Oh, NO HE DI'INT!" And when Tammy cried rape I felt sorry for poor David. I had a big crush on Judd, that cartoonist from the San Francisco cast, and can you believe he went and married that doctor lady from that same show? I could go on and on, but chances are you've seen them all, too. Don't even try to lie.

Because liking the Real World is a big dorky no-no. Nobody admits to liking it up front, but about six beers later everyone is talking about how London was the most boring season and how Montana is a totally fucked up name. Well, I for one was never ashamed of my love for the Real World. (Up until slutty Las Vegas, that is. They was just a bunch of hos. And, now I have no cable.)

Aaron Swartz quotes Louis Menand on NPR about the Cat in the Hat:#

[T]he cat is this polymorphous character who is of indeterminate sexuality, who unleashes these two—we have to call them personified genitalia. I mean, what are they named? Thing One and Thing Two. That's a very ancient Anglo-Saxon colloquialism. And these libidinal creatures run around the house. They terrify the children, who kind of capture them with a net. And then the cat puts them back in a box, of course, and takes them out again. But he's introducing them to their libidos, 'cause they're very uptight little persons, Sally and me.

Alexander Payne on the three best films of 2003.#

Kill Bill was not my favorite simply for its Tarantino-given style and sheen. It's a masterpiece of direction, from the performance he ekes out of his actors right down to blood splatters that evoke forms in classical Japanese artwork. It's the essential truly 21st century film: full of references to retro material without stealing; day-after-tomorrow fashionable and sexy without seeming hokey; its violence alternately powerful, cartoonish and comical, beautiful, and horrifying; its gender and racial politics acknowledged but never belabored; seamlessly moving between color and monochrome, film and anime, past and present narrative. Kill Bill embodies the best of the postmodern, embracing that intellectual flexibility to present a story that can be so many things at once without ever losing its footing. All that and plenty of Japan, Lucy Liu, and a brilliant soundtrack puts the film not just in this year's top ranking, but in my all time tops.

The Captain reports that Angelina Jolie might have to give up her adopted son, Maddox.#

HOLLYWOOD actor Angelina Jolie may be forced to hand her adopted son back to Cambodian authorities if claims he is not an orphan are true, it was reported today. The Sydney Morning Herald reported Cambodian child welfare workers as claiming that Maddox, the son Jolie and her former husband the actor-director Billy Bob Thornton adopted two years ago, was sold by his poverty-stricken mother.

Aslam writes about race and television ads.#

If you haven't seen the ad, I'll let you guess the race of the family. The burglar is White. Knowing something about casting, I'm certain that there was discussion about the races of the characters and something tells me that making the burglar any shade other than White was thought to be a bad idea. Be that as it may, the color of the family is what I've been thinking about.

The product presumably works well in households of all races. So, how do you depict an everyrace family? Would a South Asian take-charge mom identify more with an East Asian, Arab or Latino counterpart? Wish I were a fly on the wall in the conference room where this was discussed. So many possible scenarios! The race picked for the family would have to appeal to all races and it couldn't be mixed-race because that would be too busy a background for effective product identification.

Michael Feldman reports about amazing Americans.#

Cable TV made a West Bend man addicted to TV, caused his wife to be overweight and his kids to be lazy, he says. And he's suing the cable company for failing to shut his service off when he cancelled.

Timothy Dumouchel of West Bend wants $5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free Internet service from Charter Communications to settle what he says will be a small claims suit.

The Yeti writes about drugs and entertainment.#

I think that television and movies have been very responsible in the use of the portrayal of drugs to the American public.

Ever seen Scarface? Every time Al Pacino snorts a line he shoots someone in the face. Message? It's not to be cool and do a lot of coke - it's that coke makes you want to shoot people in the face.

Less Than Zero? Robert Downey, Jr. scars a generation by showing what happens to people who snort blow. You end up putting on mascara and on your knees in a hotel room - and that's if you're rich!

Tony Pierce writes about the new Real World cast.#

its almost like after two seasons in a row of highly sexual black men (paris, vegas) it was time for the real world to let the kids know that not every black man only wanted to bed every babe in town.

despite urkel, i have high hopes for this cast. they like to drink. theyre into each other. my chicagoian is a trip. and the ladies love walking around in their bikinis - alot.

which we all know is exactly how the world really is.

Moxie posts an interview that Bentley had with Christina Aguilera's pants.#

Bentley: So, lots' of people think your kissy kiss girl Christina is a skank, do you have anything to say about that?

Christina's pants: Dude, I've been taken off more times than a whore's panties. But Christina's okay. I mean, I've been worn before and she keeps me clean. Or, at least her wardrobe people do.

Bentley: Would you mind if I slept with her?

Christina's pants: What?

Bentley: Sorry, underneath all this fur, I'm still a man. Even if my Mom did have me snipped.

Christina's pants: look man, you are still far better off than I am. I mean, I don't even have a penis. No rod, no testicles = no action. Be grateful you still have some of your man parts.

Daniel Drezner links up various sources of Britney news, including Andrew Sullivan:#

[C]an you not see how something like Britney Spears' insta-marriage in Las Vegas might infuriate long-committed gay couples who, even now, don't have a shred of the rights Ms Spears enjoyed for a few days? It is one thing for people to declare their commitment to traditional marriage - i.e. procreative, life-long, heterosexual. It is another thing when that ideal has almost no relationship to civil marriage as it now exists for straights; and when it is nevertheless used to deny gay people access to the institution. Over the holidays, I found myself watching all those VH1 list shows, and happened across the top ten or twenty (I forget which) shortest Hollywood marriages in history. Ha ha ha. We live a world in which Britney Spears just engaged in something "sacred" (in the president's words), where instant and joke hetero marriages and divorces are a subject of titillation, and where a decades-long monogamous lesbian marriage is a threat to civilization as we know it. Please.

The Binary Circumstance comments:

Britney Spears demonstrated something very important this past weekend: We live in a society where any fool can marry a person of the opposite sex, while nobody, not even a genius, can marry a person of the same sex.

Archive.org has recordings of Guster from 2003-12-16.#